Nobody enjoys the feeling of being lonely, but sadly, it’s more common than you might think. In fact, many people don’t perceive themselves to be lonely at all despite showing classic symptoms. To figure out if this is you, here are 19 signs that you may be more lonely than you realize.
Difficulty Sleeping
If you find yourself tossing and turning at night, loneliness could be the culprit. Insomnia often stems from an overactive mind, common among those who feel isolated and lack emotional support. As King’s College London also points out, “loneliness is associated with changes in circulating cortisol, indicating elevated activation of the stress response system,” a chemical reaction that can make sleeping difficult.
Frequent Illnesses
Loneliness can take a surprising toll on your immune system, making you more susceptible to colds and other illnesses. This is partially because a weakened immune response is a sign your body is under stress, and a lack of social interaction can be the root cause of this. So, spend more time with your loved ones, and hopefully, your health will improve.
Increased Use of Social Media
If you spend a lot of time on social media, it’s easy to fall into a false sense of connectivity. In reality, you’re probably just seeking to fill your social void online instead of in person, which isn’t healthy. Online interactions don’t fulfill deeper emotional needs, so if you prefer your social interactions to be online, this is probably a coping mechanism for loneliness.
Feeling Drained After Social Interactions
Some people claim to feel emotionally and physically drained after social gatherings, leaving them more exhausted than energized. Interestingly, this could actually be a sign of underlying loneliness. Their interactions at a gathering may have felt superficial or unfulfilling, which is why they felt drained rather than rejuvenated from this social interaction.
Difficulty Concentrating
Another sign that you may be more lonely than you realize is if you struggle to focus on tasks, even when you really need to complete them. Your mind may wander, preoccupied with subconscious thoughts of isolation, affecting your productivity and overall mental clarity. If that sounds like you, try to hang out with some friends to see if your concentration improves.
Overeating or Loss of Appetite
Many people cope with their problems in life by overeating or undereating, and loneliness is no exception. Any form of emotional distress can do this, as the dopamine hits of eating (or weight loss) can temporarily fill this void. This is why it’s important to spend more time with people you enjoy a connection with before you self-diagnose yourself with an eating disorder.
Feeling Left Out
If you ever feel excluded, even in group settings, this might indicate loneliness. Loneliness doesn’t always mean you have no one to spend time with; instead, it can concern disconnection from the people you’re around. It highlights a lack of belonging among these people, emphasizing the importance of spending time with like-minded friends.
Loss of Interest in Hobbies
It should be the highlight of our day to engage in our hobbies, so if you find yourself with a sudden disinterest in doing so, this is a red flag. Loneliness can be a major contributor to this problem, as it saps your motivation and enthusiasm for just about anything. Try to find some friends who share the same hobby as you, tackling two problems simultaneously.
Excessive Daydreaming
It’s not always bad to daydream, but if you’re doing it regularly, something’s not right. It suggests that you’re trying to escape your reality, one that might be rather lonely. Ultimately, the imagined connections and situations that you envision could be more meaningful than those of your real life, indicating that it’s time for that to change.
Increased Shopping
Just like overeating, retail therapy can be a sign of loneliness, as buying new items might provide a temporary mood boost, one that your mind desperately craves. However, this feeling will be short-lived and doesn’t address the underlying need for genuine human connection and support, leading to potential financial and emotional consequences.
Constantly Checking Your Phone
One of the clearest signs that you are lonely is if you find yourself repeatedly checking your phone for messages or notifications. This explicitly shows that you have a deep desire for social interaction or even validation from others. It can be painful to experience, so put your phone down and try to connect with people in the real world.
Feeling Anxious in Social Situations
If your life doesn’t have regular, meaningful interactions, it’s only natural that you’ll start to feel anxious around people. It’s just a matter of practice; when you don’t engage socially, you forget how to do it with confidence, making even the smallest social gatherings feel overwhelming. Gradually building up momentum again will help you make steps towards becoming less lonely.
Declining Invitations
Paradoxically, lonely people will often turn down social invitations in an act of self-destructive behavior. Loneliness causes social anxiety, which in hand leads you to avoid being social, creating a vicious cycle of loneliness. If that sounds familiar, try to break the cycle by accepting some social invitations.
Excessive Sleeping
Another coping mechanism people use to cover their loneliness is excessive sleeping. It gives your body another form of escape from the emotional pain of being lonely, just like overeating or compulsive shopping. Sadly, sleeping too much will only make matters worse, so try to reset your sleep schedule and mend your relationships.
Increased Alcohol Consumption
One of the most destructive ways to cope with being lonely is turning to alcohol, which undeniably provides temporary relief. However, this feeling will quickly be replaced with feelings of depression and hopelessness, especially if you’re drinking alone. It perpetuates the cycle of loneliness, so take a break from the booze and try to meet up with some friends.
Feeling Unappreciated
If you have a persistent feeling that your efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated, it’s highly likely that you’re more lonely than you realize. When you lack meaningful connections, it can indeed feel like your contributions don’t matter, causing these feelings of insignificance. Put yourself into social situations with caring people, and you’ll soon feel more appreciated.
Crying More Often
A common symptom of being lonely is crying, which can be confusing if you don’t realize you’re lonely in the first place. It’s your body’s way of dealing with the sadness of having insufficient human contact. So, if you find yourself crying more often than usual, consider reaching out to a friend to talk about this in person.
Increased Use of Streaming Services
Sadly, the on-demand, instant gratification of streaming services provides the perfect escape from loneliness. This is especially so when you start to feel connected to the characters of a TV show, indicating that your brain is finding alternative ways to socialize. Noticing this is the first step, so turn off the TV and speak to somebody.
Feeling Disconnected from Family
Loneliness is not just concerned with not having friends; it can also manifest when you feel disconnected from your family. This disconnect highlights a lack of deep, meaningful engagement; perhaps you have little in common and struggle to bond. Try to speak to your family about this, but if that’s not an option, a friend will always be there to hear you out.
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