Back in more traditional times, marriage was seen as a lifelong commitment that only ended upon the death of a partner. However, cultural changes mean marriage is no longer the institution it once was. Here are 19 reasons why today’s marriages are crumbling faster than ever.
Cheating
It’s quite unfortunate that the wide array of dating apps, digital communication methods, and a perceived decrease in honesty have made it easier than ever for people to engage in and justify cheating on their partners. Forbes underlines this fact, claiming that infidelity is one of the main reasons for divorce, as rebuilding trust after an affair is an incredibly challenging process.
Changing Gender Roles
For many years, women relied on their husbands financially, meaning they could not survive independently. However, thanks to modern cultural shifts, many women now work full-time jobs and are much more independent, meaning it is easier for them to leave a marriage if they are unhappy.
Financial Stress
Arguments over money are a leading cause of tension in marriages, and due to the fact that couples today are facing increasing costs of living, student loans, and other financial burdens, this is becoming increasingly common. Sadly, many relationships are not strong enough to deal with these financial pressures, leading to an increased number of crumbling marriages.
Unrealistic Expectations
Romantic films and novels can paint a certain picture of what marriage looks like, but this is often unrealistic and can lead to disappointment. Many couples may feel their relationship is lacking compared to the idealized versions they see portrayed in romantic fiction, and sadly, this can lead to divorce. However, it’s important to remember that, in reality, no relationship is perfect.
Work-Life Imbalance
Gone are the days when most couples could rely on a single income. With both partners working often long hours, this can create strain in a marriage. Couples often find they have less and less time and energy for each other, which can lead to marital tension and even divorce.
Digital Distractions
Smartphones, social media, and other online distractions can mean couples spend more time looking at their phones than talking to other people. They pay less attention to each other, which can lead to feelings of neglect and dissatisfaction in the relationship, ultimately weakening their marital bond over time.
Decline in Communication Skills
With an increasingly large number of people working from home these days, interpersonal skills are waning, which is often detrimental to a healthy marriage. Misunderstandings and unspoken grievances can build up, leading to resentment. Without the ability to openly discuss issues and resolve conflicts, marriages can quickly deteriorate, leaving partners feeling disconnected.
Increased Individualism
Society places greater value on individualism and personal fulfillment now than in years gone by. While this can be a good thing, the increased value we place on individuality in society is starting to cause conflicts in our relationships. Partners may prioritize their own needs and desires over the relationship, leading to conflict and break-ups.
Lack of Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy is crucial for a strong marriage, but over time, couples may see it decline due to stress, health issues, or busy schedules. This lack of closeness can cause partners to feel isolated and unloved, which can ultimately contribute to marital dissatisfaction.
Mental Health Issues
Our lives are becoming increasingly stressful, and with that comes mental health problems that can severely impact marriages. The strain of dealing with these psychological problems can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a feeling of helplessness, weakening marriages. To avoid this, it’s always worth considering therapy, both on an individual level and within couple therapy.
Cultural and Societal Pressures
There’s no denying that cultural and societal expectations about marriage can create pressure. Expectations such as the pressure to marry by a certain age or to have children can be stressful to meet, potentially leading to marital tension. Couples may feel trapped by these pressures, eventually manifesting as divorce.
Parenting Challenges
Raising children is one of the most important parts of life, but it can also be incredibly challenging. Parenting differences, time constraints, and the stress of caring for children can strain marriages. Partners may find themselves arguing more frequently because of this, feeling less connected as they work through the complexities of parenting.
Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
It’s always going to be difficult to deal with conflict, but not everyone knows how to resolve it healthily. For couples who lack these skills, disagreements can easily escalate into major fights, which can result in arguments, resentment, and even divorce. Sadly, this is becoming all too common in modern marriages.
Substance Abuse
Unfortunately, drugs are becoming increasingly easy to access, and substance abuse can devastate a marriage. The impact of drug abuse is wide-ranging and can come with financial problems, trust issues, and emotional pain. The partner dealing with the substance abuser may feel betrayed and unsupported, leading to a breakdown in their relationship.
Lack of Support Networks
In the past, extended families and close-knit communities provided support for married couples. Today, however, many couples are more isolated, lacking these crucial support networks. Without external support and advice, couples may struggle to work through marital challenges on their own, resulting in a modern increase in the crumbling of marriages.
Health Problems
Chronic illnesses and health issues can place a significant strain on marriages, and despite medical advances, the sedentary lifestyles and junk food of today are making this a more common problem. The stress of managing a health condition, coupled with caregiving responsibilities, can overwhelm both partners. This added pressure will inevitably lead to emotional fatigue, potentially causing a divorce.
Differing Life Goals
Over time, partners may find their life goals diverging, but in the past, this was shrugged off as a part of life. These days, our focus on individuality makes persevering through these struggles less common. Incompatibility of career aspirations, lifestyle choices, or personal dreams are common causes of marital tension, and separation may be imminent unless common ground is found.
Emotional Baggage
Everyone brings past experiences into their marriage, and unfortunately, unresolved issues from previous relationships or childhood traumas can affect the current relationship. This emotional baggage can create misunderstandings and conflicts, making it difficult for couples to build a healthy and trusting relationship. While it’s positive that we are more open about our emotional struggles these days, this has made divorce all the more common.
Lack of Commitment
Any older person will tell you that young people just aren’t as committed to each other as couples were back in the old days. They often seem to lack the willingness to fully invest in the relationship, and sadly, this lack of commitment can manifest as an unwillingness to work through problems, resulting in a fragile marriage that is more likely to crumble under pressure.
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